So my weight loss isn't going very well. I fell off the wagon per se...I got the flu late last week and it put a beating on me, you'd think with all the barfing and other unmentionable things I would be skinny, skinny, skinny...but then once you start to feel better, you start shoving the food in, and next thing you know, you're up 3 lbs. F@*K!!!!
I know its my own fault, I get that. I'm not sure HOW to change my habits, or gain will power...I think a hypnatist is my next step...I don't even know why I eat half the things I eat, because some of my choices don't taste that good, its junk and I KNOW I'll feel like garbage after eating it, but I do it anyways. Why the F do I that to myself...I don't understand.
I know other people struggle with food and weight gain, I think its the biggest epidemic in North America, and yet when people say to me 'just eat healthier', i feel like stabbing them with a blunt spoon. Really, is that all that I have to do, thank you so f'ing much for all your help. Now F OFF!!!
Rage is also an issue of mine. I think it boils down to this...I want to lose weight, but apparently I don't want to lose weight bad enough for me to do anything about it. I need my 'aha' moment as Oprah would say...problem is, I think my aha moment will be when i've lost the weight.
So right now I'm bummed out, i'm going to let myself be bummed out from now 1:28 pm, till approximately 1:32 (a good 4 mins) and then I'll get over myself and try to drag my big ass back on to the weight loss wagon.
Wish me luck...
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